First Post

My first blog post. Yeehaaa...an addicts blog, it's about time. I'm guessing that what I write here will be interesting to very few people. Ain't that a shame. What I have is a gift I want to share, it's called awareness. I like to talk about things that most people don't want to hear or think about. This will be my outlet, I've been trying to express some of my thoughts in groups designed for that purpose and I've made an important discovery; I'm a little over the top. The top being social norms most of us have been programmed into believing. Hm mm, is that possible? Oh well, this is my place and here it is possible. OK, I'm an alcoholic/addict as the label seems to be. I don't get it, but then again I guess I do. Addiction is addiction alcohol, crack, meth, food, sex, or work it's all addiction. Obsession is obsession. Been trying to figure this thing out and at times I believe I have. I live in St.Paul, MN 55104. I've been living here for three weeks now. I'm just emerging from the depths of anxiety and depression, I think. Anyway I feel better now than I did two weeks ago. You see I got my hands on a bottle of Xanax and then ran out. Yeehaaa, what a ride. I survived once again. Don't think I can handle that too many more times. OK, so I go to AA a lot and have been going to AA meetings for a few years now, even though I can't seem to live long term sobriety. My rational Say's; intermittent sobriety is better for everyone when the only other option is "leaving las Vegas". So, anyway I've been going to this AA meeting in St.Paul called "uptown" ; ring a bell? I have to admit I went there kinda messed up a couple times so I've been giving it a break, let the dust settle. Oh, I live in what is called a "sober house", there are six of us addicts in this big house. We're supposed to kinda watch out for each other and if anyone relapses and gets caught, they will have to move out. Interesting, this is my first SH, oh that's not right, I forgot about the one I got kicked out of, that's when I got ahold of that bottle of Xanax. Benzodiazepine. Well, I plan on working this blog and making it work. I wanna learn this blogging thing, I mean if you watch the news or anything on TV, you would think everyone was blogging and I don't wanna be left behind.