more from dave

OK, what a bunch of shit. I have two computers and they're both infected with something and I'm too broke to get a decent virus/spyware program. Is it dark in here or is it just me? I need to be getting out looking for a job. My tax return is delayed for two weeks. I need to just mellow out and accept things as they are. I know I can't change anything already in the pipeline, but my actions today set the stage for tomorrow and it's hard to make the right moves today when yesterdays consequences are closing in on your ass. I was thinking today how AA meetings should be a forum where we leave all our pretentious facades outside but I'm getting the feeling that I'm having a hard time finding a real AA MEETING. I'd like to find one where people didn't shy away from reality. The happy, happy, joy, joy thing is turning me off. I mean come on, the truth is really simple. Us addicts aren't happy with the way we feel when we're sober, and if being sober is as good as it gets life sucks ass. Why can't we feel just a little better when we're sober? I mean you see people that seem to be loving life and enjoying every minute, these are the people that can have one or two alcoholic beverages and then switch over to soda pop. In fact these kind of people would rather not have any alcohol at all because it ruins their natural high. Alcoholic/addicts on the other hand exist a little lower on the happy scale and aren't having a good time and naturally feel like they wish they didn't have to be here for so long because life sucks ass. So when we have a drink we feel better and just don't wanna go back to that shitty sober feeling. Alcoholics and addicts aren't on a natural high like some normal people and sobriety for us is definitely a challenge. OK, so hears the key to sobriety for addicts, we just have to find a way to enjoy life when not under the influence. This I believe is all there is to it. I have my problems with the twelve steps of alcoholics anonymous even though I practice them I'm always trying to find the real answer and there you have it, the real scoop on addiction.