The Light

Ok, it's kinda funny how I get things, but I usually do. I guess it started to dawn on me while writing my last post. There is absolutely no reason for someone like me to dispute the validity of the twelve steps of AA. It really isn't important, what is important is that I do not pick up! Nothing else matters for me, because if I pick up again I'll more than likely die. So, from now on there'll be no more of that. It's just that I had to have that part figured out b4 I could, on an intellectual level, accept it or understand. It just doesn't matter. I've been trying to complicate an extremely simple program. Don't question it, just work it or die. Although that's another question all together, do I wanna die? I have to admit that I have wanted to die on numerous occasions but I'm hoping that's because of the fact that I also suffer from mental illness, which left untreated will also lead to death. Right now, I'm on several medications that keep me above ground. OK, now that that's settled I can get on with the business of recovery. This is the only time that I would advocate blindly accepting anything, at least the only time I can think of right now. AA all the way, both feet.