Midway Bowl

Alright, today was a little strange for me. I was up late as usual when I'm bot working and, therefore; I slept in. I kinda knew right away when I woke up that I wasn't right. It's that spooky sinking feeling and everything seems a little off. I don't like that feeling, because I know I can get sucked into it, deeper and deeper. I didn't wanna get out of bed so I was real slow about it. I felt like I needed to eat something but I had no appetite? I ate a can of raviolis, and that gloomy, spooky feeling just kinda hung with me which in turn started stirring up anxiety. I ran out of nurontin a couple days ago? Anyway, my day stayed dark. I went to a meeting around 3pm and felt compelled to share my feelings of despair. You know I have to rethink doing that, it has more than once left me wide open to negative criticism. No matter how I try to explain what's going on with me when that dark cloud starts blocking out my light, there is always someone who doesn't get it. Today was no exception. I understand that it's a lost cause trying to verbalize this state of mind to someone who's never experienced it and, on an intellectual level have to disregard the ignorant advise generated. I still feel an emotional rush as I am so advised. So, I think I need to replenish my gabapentin (nurontin). Only problem is a lack of money. Despite all this crap I did manage to go sober bowling tonight, almost didn't, but I knew I'd regret it. I'm glad I went, I met a woman that interested me. I don't remember her name, but I'll be looking to talk with her again. I'll be back in a bit.