My Story

Simon Says:
You know I just realized I forgot to mention what happened to Kathy. I kept in touch with her all the while I was going through all that bullshit up in Blaine. Us finding an apartment together just didn't turn out to be practical. She ended up getting a room in the Continental Hotel. The Continental is in Minneapolis and it's a hotel that I believe is subsidized by various counties to provide housing for the homeless and MICD patients. I went to visit her there a couple times and it turned out to be disaster. While I was staying at Mike's waiting for Rick to come back from AZ I took a bus from Blaine to Minneapolis to see Kathy. The first time I went to see her she wanted me to bring a bottle of vodka. You're not supposed to bring alcohol into the Continental but once again I made a stupid decision and figured I could smuggle a half pint in with me. We drank that and then she wanted more so we took a walk to the liquor store and this time I bought a liter and was able to smuggle that back to her room. We played around for awhile and then somehow I fell asleep in her bed. I had overslept and missed the last bus back to Blaine. That was my first thought then I noticed that Kathy was gone. Overnight guests are not allowed at the Continental and I was beginning to panic. I was thinking that maybe I could crash there anyway, who would know. But where was Kathy? I looked around her small apartment and didn't find anything that might indicate where she had gone. I sat on the bed trying to figure out what I was going to do when I got the idea to look in her closet. I opened the door to the closet and there she was, passed out on the floor naked. I managed to get her into her bed and she was totally incoherent. I kept trying to wake her up and finally she looked at me and said I'm diabetic and I'm dieing. Her cell phone kept ringing and I had been just ignoring it. This time I flipped it open and it said Mom. I answered it an handed it to Kathy and she was talking with her mother and I couldn't really understand what she was saying. Then someone started pounding on the door. I didn't know what to do but I had to think fast, here I was in a sober shelter, I'd been drinking and Kathy was passed out on the bed trying to talk to her mother. I hid the vodka bottle and opened the door. It was a hotel manager wanting to check on Kathy because her mother had called them concerned because Kathy wasn't answering her phone. I didn't know what to do, whatever was going to happen was going to happen.


The management dude called for the paramedics and they showed up pretty quick. I told them what she had told me, that she was in a diabetic shock. I don't think they believed it, they just figured she had too much to drink and they were probably right. They loaded her up in an ambulance and off to Hennepin County Medical Center they went. I stayed there until the ambulance left and then I had to think about my problem. I had no way to get home and didn't have much money. I figured I was going to have to hang out on the streets all night until the morning bus started running. I walked around for awhile thinking and then I called Mike to let him know I was going to be stuck in Minneapolis all night. One of Mikes buddies (dope dealer) was there and he said he would come pick me up but it wouldn't be for a few hours. I went to the Minneapolis Convention Center and told him to pick me up there. At least it was warm out and a few hours later the guy showed up and picked me up. I was a little surprised he showed up but I guess I had spent a lot of money on his shit and he was cool. I met a hooker on the street and she kept me occupied while I was waiting. She kept trying to get me to buy a blowjob but I didn't have the money. Finally I got picked up and I ended up hanging out with this dude and his girlfriend for a couple hours and then he dropped me off at Mikes. I went to visit Kathy one more time a few weeks later but she was passed out when I got there. She was sicker than me when it comes to alcohol and after that we just kinda let it go. I haven't heard from her since then. I did like her but she was too flaky for me. That's why our plans to get an apartment together faded out. I hope she gets better because otherwise she was a nice girl.


Now back to where I left off. Consider that last little story about Kathy a sidebar. So I was in my new apartment, off my medication and drinking heavily. Not according to my plan at all, alcohol was dominating my life again. My social worker showed up and tried to convince me to go back to the hospital. I knew that's what I had to do all along so I agreed to go back to Regions. I wasn't so sure they would admit me because this scenario was like a broken record with increasing frequency. Regions had no idea that I had been admitted to Fairview Riverside since the last time I was in Regions. At the time I was so sick none of that seemed to matter anyway. I was admitted to Regions and back in the psych ward again. When I started thinking clearer I realized my rent was due and I couldn't pay it from the hospital. I had to go through the humiliation of calling my landlord and telling them that I was in the hospital and couldn't pay my rent until I got out. They were pretty cool about it and didn't even ask why I was in the hospital. I just had to pay an additional $50 late fee when I got out. That was a relief, I tend to blow everything out of proportion, I think. Then I started worrying about the fact I was going to have to face some sort of consequences because of my stay of commitment. Turned out that because my commitment was from Fairview Riverside my hospitalization at regions wouldn't come up on the radar unless my social worker was to alert the courts and he didn't. Then because I'd ended up in Regions so many times they might just file for a commitment too. I don't know how that would work but it didn't happen. Regions just got me back on my meds and stabilized. In less than two weeks I was back here in my apartment. This time I didn't buy any vodka, stayed on my meds and have been sober now for a little over sixty days.


I've cut all my ties with my old using friends, I just disappeared. I don't answer my phone if they call and I don't answer my phone if I don't recognize the caller's number. I've been occupying my time writing this story with plans to revive this blog and get it back on track. The last few months haven't been easy for me, I'm not used to living alone and it's been awhile since I've been sober. I must say that this time around getting sober has been more difficult than in the past. Like I said it's been a little over sixty days and I still feel like I'm going through withdrawals. It's been pretty lonely here with no one to talk with and no car. I've got to rely on buses and cabs to get around and that simply sucks. I've been smoking cigarettes like crazy and watching a lot of TV. I know it ain't going to be easy but I just can't keep living like I've been doing for the last couple years. It's going to be a long rough road to recovery but I'm determined to make it. The story I just told you is the short version and I feel like I've aged ten years in two. I don't know what I'm going to do next but whatever happens, happens. Right now my main objective is to stay sober, it's going to be awhile before my brain heals meanwhile I'm going to just keep working on this blog. I still feel slightly ill all the time and there's been many times when I've considered having a drink or picking up the phone. So far for sixty days now I've been good. I've been a little worried that my probation officer is going to find out about my last two slips but so far he hasn't. He freaks me out a little every time I meet with him because he always asks if I drank any alcohol or used any drugs and I always say nope. There's a lot of things I need to do to fix up this blog but I've been spending all my time writing this story. I felt it important to fill the gap since I last fell off the planet up to the present day.


If you happened to land on this page of my blog and want to read my story from the beginning you'll have to go back around ten posts and start there.