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I don’t know this takes some getting used to. I have not
made an entry into my blog for years. Technology has made many advancements.
Text to speech software is a wonderful thing. However I must say it works a lot
better on an android smart phone that does on a PC. I am using a PC to write
this. I bought the software last week and have now just begun to experiment
with it. So far, I guess as with anything new, I don’t like it. The reason I
don’t like it so far is it does not seem very accurate. However, I’ve been
playing with it for a few hours now and the more I play the better I get. Even
with its flaws, I still find it easier and faster than typing. I’m also able to
think clearer because I’m not wasting any of my thoughts on where the next
keystroke is. I must say this is the furthest I’ve been able to get without too
much trouble. Right now I am thinking I’m glad I did not give up on it too
easy. The more I learn to use his program the more I’m beginning to like it.
One thing that is definitely going to be hard for me is that
others around me will be a will to hear the things I am writing. I am a very
private man and I keep most of my thoughts to myself. The problem is I have to
let them out, or I will go absolutely crazy as I’ve done so many times before.
I don’t write this stuff for any one particular person beside myself. I can’t
seem to explain why but it seems to help me. Actually when I say there are
others around me that can here when I’m writing and saying at the same time there
is really only one person and that person my wife, yes, I have remarried since
the last time I made a blog entry. I’ve been married a little over two years
now, I’ve moved a long distance to be with this woman. Where I am now, the
culture is unlike any other I can remember living in. Not only that, my entire
life has changed. My marriage has only been a small part of those changes. I
guess most of them have been in my head. I still suffer from the same things I
did years ago but I have changed. I moved out into the country and I want to
tell you that there’s something about living in the country that makes you feel
older, chronologically speaking and possibly mentally.
I once said that I would never own my own house again but I
guess somehow I ended up going back on my word. When you own your own house it
becomes a burden. It’s a never ending full-time job maintaining it. I don’t really
feel like I own this house but I do live in it and I am married to the woman
who does own it. This particular house has been neglected since the day it was
built back in 1978. Absolutely everything you can imagine needs to be done to
it. And at times I feel a bit overwhelmed with it to the point of just wanting
to let it go. It’s just I have other things I like to do with my life at least
what’s left of it. I guess in a way it keeps me under some control and busy on
the days I do get around to working on it.
If you compare my life to the way it used to be, I’m sober
now but am very, very bored. Well you can see why I don’t like saying these
things to loud. All I know is I feel like I have more work to do here on this
house than I can ever handle. So I feel that this house even given my best
efforts is going to slowly deteriorate as time goes on. But I guess I’m going
to do my best, I can’t afford the help I need and people around here are just
plain untrustworthy and lazy. So it seems I lost a lot of my enthusiasm. I do
miss getting high and the parties and the fun people. The people here are bit
different. They only believe in one thing and that is praising the Lord Jesus
Christ and that is all that matters to them. I live in what they call the Bible
belt, in the Deep South which is referred to as the low country. I guess for
now it’s okay, but it is true, I do miss the life, and I’m not getting and
younger.
